She hated her life, what good was there in beingrich if she couldn't really escape her stigma. "Is there no way?"The witch grew thoughtful. "If a noble is willing you may exchange yourlife, your body with theirs. But they must be willing!"Gretchen did not consider this very likely. She went back to the estate.A few days later she was considering where she would move when she foundthe Graf collapsed in his library ready to kill himself with a pistol.She knocked the weapon from is hand!"Are you insane, Herr Graf! That is a mortal sin again god and motherchurch! And why, you who have everything, should want to end it all?" You little fool! I gave lost everything, everything at cards -everything! My family will be in disgrace! In dishonor - I cannot pay mybills, my taxes or my debts of honor! They only honorable course for meis to kill myself! I cannot live with bringing such disgrace to an 800year old name."He put his face into his hands and sobbed. Gretchen minds worked rapidly. "What. A pregnant belly was now a ticket out of the war and back home for all female recruits and most couldn't wait to get theirs. The rest largely kept their needs for love and comfort amongst each other. Lesbian love had always been common and even fairly open in aristocratic circles and no one would think twice about two women exchanging an open affectionate hug and kiss. In recent years I've heard that it is now much more open and acceptable in back home in the towns and villages where most of the men were now permanently absent. I can not speak about the love affairs between male soldiers as that sort of relationship holds no interest for me and I keep a blind eye to most of it, but I'm sure it's not uncommon either."I thought I loved him with every ounce of my soul," she continued, "but I didn't really. He was just my first serious relationship and I wanted more from him than he was willing to give. I wanted us to be married — I wanted to have his baby and was willing to be forced.
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